Edinburgh Castle – The Chipotle Burger

So the Ed Castle apparently has the oldest continuous license in Adelaide. It also has a ‘world famous’ $10 lunch menu, including burgers, which we have investigated to some extent here. They also have a front bar, a beer garden, a ‘main room’ and a balcony for functions.

These things are all quite fascinating of course (I actually found the stories around the oldest venues etc quite interesting, but google that if you want more info). However they tell you nothing about whether the Ed can deliver on the burger front.

Given their menu has 5 burgers on it, and there was another burger as a special, you would hope that they know a thing or two about how to put them together. We had also been tipped some time ago to come here and check it out, so eventually we managed to fire up the legs for the not unsubstantial walk from the office to here.

So, orders placed for 3 burgers, we sat and waited…..and waited. Yep, speed was not the order of the day here. It wasn’t helped by the fact from where we were in the beer garden, we could see through to the kitchen and saw our order sitting waiting to be delivered for at least 5 minutes, probably closer to 10. This didn’t fill us with hope.

Also the person that served us at the bar was clearly not inspired to be in a hospitality role this lovely summers day.

Anyhow, they eventually did arrive, so lets move on with the review.

The Burger
The Patty
This was exactly the same as in the $10 cheeseburger – the finest of fine grinds of beef, filled with herbs and seasoning, then cooked to well done and dished up. It has the texture similar to that of a thin foam camping mattress, but without being as dry. While this is claimed to be house made, its just amazing how similar these are to so many others that we see around the place. Maybe they all take turns at hosting a patty making night at each others ‘house’, and then take what they need.

It does have flavour, and it wasn’t dry, but its hardly excellent either.

The bacon was excellent, and plentiful. It was genuinely delicious and cooked perfectly for a burger, not too crispy, not too limp – just spot on.

The chipotle chillis were there too, and added a nice smoky flavour to everything as well as a little heat. There were a couple of leaves hiding at the bottom with melted cheese, and then chipotle mayo slathered over the top.

The chipotle mayo and bacon together was quite excellent. In fact, just pull those off, with or without the chillis, chuck them on a roll with an egg and put that on your $10 menu. These were the stars of the show and really made the whole thing far better than it otherwise would have been.

Same roll as the other two from the $10 menu, but closer to the apparent freshness of the fish burger.

The same batch of pretty decent chips that, despite being left under some warm lamps for most of their life, still arrived not being terrible. I can only imagine how good they were when freshly cooked.

$15 is reasonable from the position of answering these questions – was it tasty enough, and were you hungry at the end. Given we shared 3 burgers between 2 of us, the second bit is a little hard to answer, but I don’t doubt it would be filling on its own (with the chips). The flavour of the really good bits was great, and then let down by the roll and the patty.

All in all…..you wouldn’t be too annoyed at the end of the meal.

This was easily the pick of the 3 burgers, but that isn’t saying a great deal. The biggest issue with this beef burger is the beef part – the patty is just not up to standard. Its so simple to use proper, half decent mince to make a burger so it mystifys me why this stuff is still dished up. I guess some people might prefer it, and to be fair it doesn’t lack flavour – its just more or less devoid of any beef flavour or textural qualities. If it had come out of a box proclaiming “I cant believe its not beef!” as some kind of vegan beef substitute, I wouldn’t be terribly shocked.

The roll was also a bit….meh. Credit for not following the same as everyone else and going with breadtop or similar, but they just didn’t seem very fresh (well 2 of the 3 at least).

Overall, this just feels like that kid at school who was obviously really smart, but just couldn’t be bothered. Every now and then they would show what they were capable of, but never consistently applied themselves. They would get through, but that’s all.

The chipotle burger – great flavours from some (2-3) good ingredients, then let down by everything else.

Score – 7.0

The Ed Castle Hotel on Urbanspoon

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Edinburgh Castle – $10 Cheeseburger & GAR Burger

For quite some time now we have been trying and trying to get down to the ed castle for lunch following some recommendations by our loyal fans.  Making the walk from work to the other side of the city for some burgers and beers and back again within the usual lunch hour had always proved a daunting task.  Today we decided to just get on with it and fulfil our duty to our followers and provide to you the feedback on the ed castle’s burger offerings.
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Treasury on King William – Beef and Bacon Double Cheeseburger

The Treasury is a place we have been to before, so I won’t go into describing the venue again as it is completely unchanged. It’s still a beautiful little oasis in the city centre, and on a warm summers day, a great spot to spend some time.

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Nordburger – Bacon-double

Nordburger has developed quite the following and is consistently one of the most viewed reviews we have done. If you missed it, you can find it here.
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Royale with Cheese – Vege Burger

This new venue, selling burgers and other tasty looking goodies, popped up on North Terrace mid December, but we only just came across it. We promptly decided we best check it out asap, so that is exactly what we did.
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5 Best Venues in Adelaide CBD to Enjoy a Burger

There is no doubt we devote a lot of time and focus on where to find the best burgers, and rightly so. I mean, it is somewhat in our title, if not DNA, to try and seek out the best burgers around. But this is only ever part of the story.

In telling the tale of where we go, the venue itself will get something of a description from us, and it does influence the score to some extent. It is no surprise that an average burger in a great environment will taste better than the same one consumed in a rat and flea invested hovel. Luckily we have yet to come across any of the latter.

Sometimes what you want though is just a really nice place to go for lunch, over and above strictly chasing the very best food. Yes, we all want the best of both, and sometimes this does fall into place. But a good burger in a great venue with (maybe) a choice beverage….I mean, what more can you ask for?

To this end we give you or opinion as to the top 5 CBD burger serving venues we have encountered so far, with a couple of honourable mentions for good measure. What is “best” is of course highly subjective, and there is a broad spectrum ranging from somewhere that is just really interesting and unique, to a place that is classy, efficient and highly professional.

Beyond this, the only housekeeping we need mention is that the order is purely for listing purposes, not a specific ranking.

Bread & Bone – Peel Street
Bread & Bone
B&B are part of the new wave of small bars and eateries that are starting to spring up around Adelaide. Located on the increasingly popular Peel Street, a tiny side alley off Currie Street, this boasts both an extremely cool vibe and and outstanding range of burgers and other goodies. You can read the praise we heaped on them in our review, but suffice to say that this is one of our favourite venues around the city. It was the brainchild of the owners of Press*, itself a great place to visit, and they have nailed the casual but refined, ‘underground’ yet professional combination.
As a bonus, the burgers are pretty darn good too (in our experience anyhow) and they have an interesting selection of tap beverages. Win, win and win.

Veggo and Lovin It – Rundle Street
A vegetarian venue? On a must visit list? I don’t know why this is a thought that I believe people will have but hands up if you did? Ok now write us a comment to say if you put up your hand.
Veggos has been here since Adelaide was first foundered, or nearly that long anyhow. I have it on good authority that it has remained essentially unchanged for the last 20-odd years, and while for some this is a very bad idea, this is definitely an exception. Step through the unmarked door and its like stepping through a wormhole in the fabric of space and time. This is a parallel universe where it’s ok to have random pieces of furniture. It ok to use a dressing table (complete with mirror) as a table. Its fine to only seat a relative handful of people. You really don’t need to worry about having a clear path to the emergency exit.

The vegetarian (and mostly vegan) menu of burgers is extensive. They are also massive so they give the option of ordering a half, which is most unique.

This has been very high on the “must go back to” since our initial visit, and writing this just reinforces that feeling.

The one change they have made recently is to update their sign – walking down Rundle Street you may now even have a chance of noticing and reading it. We suggest you find it and then head up the narrow stairs to see what we are talking about.

Hereford Beefstouw – Hutt Street
If you like your burger served with a side of cool, yet warm and welcoming professionalism then this is the place for you.
It is quite an art to making something seem simple and restrained, yet full of so many little details that it’s quite obvious that more thought than you would believe has gone into it.

Put simply this is a casual enough, yet classy place so as to not put off or embarrass anyone. It exudes efficiency, from the organised layout, the simple but refined decor, to the highly professional and genuinely friendly staff. As a dining experience goes this was essentially flawless, and they got within a whisker of equal top spot on the burger leaderboard to boot.
Lovely people, great venue and from what we experienced, excellent food. Not cheap when you peruse the steaks, but for an occasional thing this should be on your list. For all that though, the burgers were….well…..burger prices, so don’t let that put you off.

You can read our review again, but just make space in your calendar, grab a mate or so and head to Hutt Street. Then send us a thank you later on.

Kings Head Hotel – King William Street
Kings Hotel, the Kings Head, The Kings Head Hotel….I do get a bit confused as to what to call this venue, as it has been rebranded a little bit over the years. I have vague memories of going there many, many years ago for a social club event (when I wasn’t a member of the social club) and enjoying copious amounts of free alcohol on the night. I dont remember too much else, as its all a bit fuzzy.
What isn’t fuzzy though is how great this place is since its rebirth. While I dislike this term, it is a ‘gastro pub’, and not in the sense that you might immediately think of. Their philosophy is something that I personally love – no pokies, a focus on local produce, local beers and wines, and making it a welcoming and interesting place to be. Regardless of the season the Kings Head really comes up trumps, with open fireplaces in winter, a cool and relaxing vibe to enjoy regardless of the weather and then some outdoor seating for when the sun is shining.

Added into this is the fact that their food is pretty darn great, and their pork belly burger arguably the best pub burger we have experienced. We also tried their “King of Cheeseburgers” however the review didn’t quite make it to paper, but suffice to say that was excellent too.  Their beer list is ever changing and focussed on local boutique beers, and they are always on the list of venue’s which receive the really unique brews that pop up.

Personally, I think this is the best pub in Adelaide and I am extremely glad that this isn’t my local, as it means its rather more difficult to try and move in and live there by stealth. These are just my words though. Do yourself a favour – grab a mate or so, get on down there, pick an interesting beer you may not have tried before, and order a burger. You honestly cannot go wrong.

Sneaky Pickle
I anticipate this being a little controversial, and I understand why. First up, they don’t make anything they name a ‘burger’. This is probably strategic on their behalf, trying to distance themselves from pre-conceived ideas about what a burger is or should be. However, Mr and Mrs Pickle, you put pulled pork and brisket in a roll. You make it (and everything else we have tried) truly, truly amazing. We can see through this flimsy disguise.
The next thing – yes it’s a food truck. How is this a venue? Well, it simply means you have enjoy their consistently amazing food in the surrounds of the beautiful city of Adelaide. Sure, some of you may scoff at this but contrast it with other capital cities and there is no comparison. Trees, grass, greenery, fountains, open air, sunshine…..what more do you want?
YeahI we know its not licensed. Yep, you have to clean up after yourself. No, there is no reserved seating. If it rains it’s not so good, and if it’s 4000 degrees it’s a bit uncomfortable. But for the rest of the Adelaide spring/summer/autumn/winter it’s just fine.
Throw in generous quantities, super friendly people, a rotating and changing menu and you have an absolute winner.
Sneaky Pickle have never, ever let us down. You can see what we thought of the Brisket Sandwich and their Pulled Pork Bun before. Just get there early (plan a 12 lunch as they do sell out!), pull up some nearby grass and take it all in. And the pork fries….i am literally salivating while writing this. Just find the truck and order something.

Honourable Mentions
The Taxpayer
Yes we love their burgers (need to tell you about more, but here is the Al Capone), but its actually a pretty cool place in its own right. Throw in friendly and efficient staff, some really good beers on their list and we are happy campers indeed.

La Bonne Table
A very recent visit, La Bonne Table is a wine and tapas bar, as well as fine dining restaurant, stuck out by itself near the main fire station on Wakefield Street. Odd location, but unquestionably a very sweet place. Their burger was also brilliant, which helps.

Treasury (beer garden)
The Treasury bar was once a frequent hang out, but never thought of as a food venue. Well, that changed one day and we are very glad it did. The food is of a high standard, sharing the kitchen with a fine dining restaurant you would hope so, but its the beer garden which is really worth the visit. Again this is a fair weather place, but when the sun gods are plying their trade its hard to find a nicer place to park your bum for a bevvy and/or some food.

Bliss Organic Cafe
Last but not least, another vegetarian place, this time near the central markets on Compton Street (just off Gouger Street). Inside is all well and good, but its the courtyard that is the real gem. Sitting there, it feels like you are a million miles away from the middle of a capital city. A gem of a place to just get away from it all for a while, and some really good food too.

So there you have it. There are others that could have been included (Benjamin on Franklin, First Bar at Hotel Richmond, Press* and so on), as there are some really good places to get food dotted around, and as always this really is about personal preference. But thats why we cannot be wrong – you just may not agree! However if we haven’t been somewhere you think would make the grade in these terms, then please let us know, and we will get onto reviewing that ASAP.

Categories: A Hereford Beefstauw, Bliss Organic Cafe, Bread & Bone, Food Truck, Hereford Beefstouw, Kings Head, La Bonne Table, Sneaky Pickle, The Taxpayer, The Treasury, Veg n Lovin It | 2 Comments

Jack Ruby – Boof Lehman’s Surf & Turf Burger

Our last visit to Jack Ruby was met with a large amount of unpleasantness. You can check that out here. Unsurprisingly, we have been giving it a wide berth since this time and (wisely?) spending our hard earned dollars elsewhere.

We did however note an advertisement for the subject burger on Facebook recently, and on our sighting of it… how could you say no to such a thing? It does sound genuinely amazing.

 So. We decided to suck it up, brace ourselves and head back into the sub terranian lair of Jack Ruby to try this epic sounding burger creation.

On arrival, we were met by some staff we hadn’t seen before. Perhaps this time we were in for some luck. Sadly, after a brief exchange it appeared as if we were in for much of the same old. While initially friendly, it was quite apparent after a short period that anyone that works in this place really doesn’t seem to care about anything really. Whatever, nuff said really.

The food was ordered and delivered without much fuss, within a reasonably prompt time; so that was good.

At first glance I didn’t even realise there was something amiss. After the first bite, it all went wrong.  Surprised, I was not.


The advertised product....

The Burger
From the menu – Smoked and pulled beef short rib, butter poached moreton bay bug tail, tarragon sauce, iceberg lettuce – $24 w chips

In this instance, it was not a patty at all – but that was not the problem.  The advertisement and the menu alluded to “12 hour smoked and pulled short rib”. You can clearly see it in the advertisement.

This is not what I was served.  

A huge concern is that this is not the first time this had happened. As with our experience with the smoked brisket burger, this could only be described as slices of hugely overcooked roast beef. There was no trace of smoke, there was no evidence of it being anywhere in the same universe of tenderness that would enable it to be ‘pulled’ apart. At least not without equipment that operates with hydraulics. 

It was dry, it was fail.  

Not only was it not what was on the menu, it was not anything that deserved to be served from a commercial kitchen.  I can say with a reasonable amount of confidence – and no disrespect intended – that the Royal Adelaide Hospital would probably serve you better roast beef than this.  Not only that, it would actually say so on the menu when you ordered it.

I do actually now have reasonable cause to ask the question, is this possibly a case of false advertisement? Or, is it just two bouts of extremely similar bad luck?  Surely the chef at this establishment knows the difference between overcooked, dry, roast beef and a delicious cut of rib that has been smoked for 12 hours to a juicy tenderness where it just falls apart with a fork?  Maybe they should go and take some lessons from Sneaky Pickle. Whatever the case may be, I am already struggling to find ways to describe my sheer disappointment.  I will cover this a little more in a moment in the ‘value’ section. 

Same old brioche. – hard to get wrong when it is reliably made off site and you just order it in.

Iceberg, shredded – no fuss here. Tarragon sauce was pretty tasty too. Bacon was mentioned in the advertisement – but not on the in-store menu – however it appeared on the burger.  Seriously? Get your Sh*t together people! Of course surprise bacon isn’t a bad thing, but surely it isn’t difficult to actually describe what you are looking to sell people.

The bug tail was actually very nice.  I was shocked.  It was legit, as described, and cooked well.  It didn’t add a huge amount of flavour to the ensemble, however it was a nice addition.

Thin fries, while fresh, were completely unseasoned. Another fine effort here.

$24. Just sit with that for a second.

We all know (or think) that the premium price was to cover the cost of the bug tail.  But, honestly, I felt completely ripped off.  I most likely could have found better roast beef in the deli section at coles for about half that price per kg.  1 bug tail? Not likely $10. Had the burger actually contained what it said it was meant to, id likely have a different view – but not on what I was given.

Pretty much forget it.

We have tried and wanted to give jack Ruby so many chances.  They keep throwing up these amazing sounding offerings and plainly fail to deliver. This, coupled with very mediocre staff just leaves a bad taste.

Spend your money elsewhere.

Score – 4.0

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La Bonne Table – Wagyu Burger

Situated very much by itself on Wakefield Street in the CBD, essentially opposite the fire station, La Bonne Table is certainly being brave in its approach. A tapas and wine bar, as well as catering for ‘normal’ mains and deserts, they are certainly doing things their own way. And based on the feedback on social media – they have been doing it very well.

We spotted a burger on their menu many months ago, but as luck would have it, shortly thereafter it was removed so we missed the opportunity to check it out. However, it was very recently reinstated so we made sure we got there swiftly to see what’s what. Burger bars are great – obviously we will think that – but a burger in a more fine dining restaurant is always a mouth watering prospect.

While we only very briefly went inside – sun shining so a table outside thanks! – this is immediately a really nice and interesting space to enjoy a meal and time with friends.

The staff were also highly courteous and friendly. So far so good.

The Burger
From the menu : Wagyu Burger (cooked medium), shropshire blue, caramelised onion, aioli. $19

The meat section of this basic looking construct was a sizable wagyu beef patty – guessing around the 250g mark. It was stated to be cooked medium, but we have seen this promised before with variable degrees of success.

No such dramas here.

In terms of its ‘done-ness’ this was about as perfect as you could ask for. It was perfectly pink in the middle, perfectly seasoned and melt in your mouth deliciousness.

If we had to be picky – constructively – then perhaps a slightly higher sear might have just added a tiny bit. There was no real crust to it, and this helps add a tiny bit of texture as well as a slight char flavour. Very much splitting hairs though. I would take this every day of the week.

Caramelised onion and Shropshire blue, with a smear of aioli on the bun, made up the entirety of the burger as served. With flavours this good though, that’s pretty much all you need too. Proper, slightly sticky, slightly sweet caramelised onion is a wonderful thing, and served with blue cheese just makes all the sense in the world. The blue is reasonably sharp, but with outstanding nutty characters and the restraint shown in its quantity was admirable. This is all about balance after all.

However, there is more to it. Served with it is a wooden skewer with lettuce, tomato and a slice of pickle. As such, you can add to your burger and tweak it to suit. We went about adding the pickle and the lettuce and these contributes a bit of acid, freshness and crunch which helped balance the richness and textures already there.

Another brioche style, but perhaps this was slightly more buttery? That may have been my imagination though. Great as always.

Firstly, the complimentary bread with olive oil and balsamic was a great way to start and unexpected. Beautiful oil it was too.

The chips – honestly these could have a following all of their own. This is about as far removed from generic fast food items as you could get and still somehow be considered the same thing. Hand cut, massive segments of golden potato, fluffy delicious flavoursome filling, and again the most amazing seasoning balance – these were a work of art.

Further special mention to the kronenbourg – imported original version they have on tap – simply delicious and about a million times better than the locally made version.

$19 to get some great service, complimentary starter, sensational chips and a sizable and quality burger? Yep – happy with the value here.

La Bonne Table has been anticipated for some time, and they certainly didn’t disappoint at all. They probably even exceeded our expectations, which were pretty high I can assure you. Essentially this did everything that Sean’s Kitchen didn’t do – take premium ingredients, simplify and deliver amazing balance and great flavours.

This wouldn’t be for everyone mind you. Blue cheese isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but beef and blue together just makes such great sense. It also looks very basic on the plate – if you want something towering high and brimming with 17 fillings then you will need to look elsewhere.

For everyone else though, this is just pure quality and great execution. Very keen to come back and check something else out, that is for sure.

Score – 9.6

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The Grand – Italian Beef Burger

The “Magnificent 7″ was on offer at Swish in the cbd for ages – but we never got there before it was transformed into La Boca (and a great move that was, as we reported here). However, it’s still available at Glenelg and it just so happens I found myself there recently, hungry stomach in tow, so decided a burger would fix that nicely.

The Grand, for anyone that doesn’t know already is very much beach side at Glenelg on Moseley Square. Its a fantastic location indeed, and it’s not a bad place to go into. There was some live music on the Sunday afternoon we were there, and with the sun streaming through the ample glass, it will do just nicely.

It does feel a bit dated though, so perhaps a refresh is in order, but it’s more than serviceable as it stands.

The Burger
From the Menu
Italian Beef Burger – Italian mozzarella and Parma ham burger (that’s all it says)

The patty immediately concerned me. It was suspicious uniform in its shape, and given the colour of it with its crispy appearance, I wasn’t expecting melt-in-your-mouth medium goodness.

I certainly wasn’t surprised.

This was very well done indeed, some might say overcooked, but the crust does have its charms at the same time. The patty was also super herb filled, and the end result was essentially the same as what we got from ACES at the Central Markets – and that tasted like a sausage roll. Hmmmm…..

Scant information from the menu, but my investigation came up with the Parma ham (good move), mozzarella (quite good too), leaves, tomato chutney and some fresh tomato. I also suspected a second cheese, like a provolone, but it seems unlikely.

These were actually all pretty good and gave it a definite Italian flavour, so some positives here.

The roll was an anaemic looking white thing, it didn’t seem amazingly fresh, held together ok but not overly inspiring. image

Some pretty decent beer battered chips were accompanying the burger, as was a pint of boags draught (part of the deal). Happy with both these things.

$17.95 for the burger and beer deal isn’t too bad at all. If you just wanted the burger and chips, this is $15.95, so $2 for the beverage makes for a wise investment. Size was good, just not the quality to boost the value.

This is a decent enough venue in a great location dishing out basic pub food. This surprises me a bit given there is a fine dining restaurant attached, but they obviously aren’t sharing any menu items.

This was tasty enough, but the overall package was a bit lacking. The patty was tasty enough – for a sausage roll – but not really up to scratch. The cheese and the ham tried to lift things and succeeded to some degree, but only dragged this into mediocre realm.

If your really hungry then it’s passable, but it won’t make you go there for this reason. Perhaps one of the other 6 are going to be amazing?

Score – 6.5


The Grand Bar on Urbanspoon

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Black Bull – Black Bull Burger (beef)

The black bull has a long history going back to the birth of time. Sometime after the big bang but amongst the dinosaurs, the pub gained it’s licence. You can read more about this and other buildings history here and it is interesting if that’s your thing.

It has been redeveloped into another pub by day – club by night place like so many others. The overall effect of the place is really good though, and I imagine it would make for a cool venue to enjoy some tunes and beverages once the sun has gone down.

We were interested in the burgers though, although funding any info at all on this has been a challenge give there is no website, nothing on Urbanspoon and no menus on their Facebook page.

However, there is a beef and chicken option on their “proposed menu” so we settled in to see what the beef had to offer.

From the Menu
Black Bull Burger – Wagyu Beef (or crispy chicken) with tomato relish, greens, gherkins, aioli $15

The pub is owned by the same people as the Woolshed, who also have Little Hunter, and the similarity is immediate. The patty had a good beef flavour, no question, but it was WAY overdone. This was a seriously dry and chewy patty, and given we were about the only people there, I don’t understand how they didn’t get better attention.

Flavour was decent though, but it was a serious workout for the jaw.

They were as above, more or less, but we discovered some melted cheese hiding on the top bun. The aioli was also not on the burger, but in a bowl. Not sure if that was by design or not.

The chutney was a real highlight, but we couldn’t guess a brand or if it was house made. As we said we couldn’t see any aioli on the burger but added our own from the dipping sauce, but this made very little difference to be honest.

Basic, reasonable fillings but not amazing.

The similarity to Little Hunter came through on the roll too, as it was the same Turkish bread style as we had there. This is inherently chewy though, so coupled with the chewing gum mixed with sawdust beef patty this just added to the effect. Applaud something different, but couldn’t rescue anything here.

Chips, and actually really good ones. They were freshly cooked, fluffy on the inside and really nice and crispy on the outside. One of the best chip we have had for a while. Served with the side of aioli as mentioned before, this was really good.


Menu for Black Bull - more than proposed it would seem

$ for the burger and then a further 8.50 for the Little Creatures Pale Ale is not too bad for a CBD pub, and the quantity was definitely there. Quality not really adding to the perceived value though.

If you look back to the Little Hunter review, you can see where they managed to get things right. This bowever just came across as a bit lazy to be honest – like someone decided we need a burger on the lunch menu so….this will do. The cooking didn’t help but it really lacked in general.

We don’t expect clones of others, and welcome something different but this just wasn’t cutting it. Add something more to it, even a decent sauce or mustard or something, make it individual as there are no burger rules you have to adhere too.

The bottom line is this was filling but that’s about it. Please re-think this – its really very easy to make something about 300% better than this.

Intentional mediocrity.

Score 5.9

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